Tuesday, July 13, 2010

What Are You Hungry For?

Truth isn't always beauty, but the hunger for it is. -Nadine Gordimer 

Ok...the last two weeks have been weird for me.  I've felt strange, confused, frustrated, overjoyed, excited, agitated and at peace.  Here's what I've noticed most...giving up TV and reducing our grocery and entertainment budget has brought up a new set of reflections for me, like - What does it mean to feel deprived of something?  Where does this lack come from?  And probably the toughest one of all...What am I hungry for?

The more mindful I become of what I spend and how I spend it - both what I spend financially and how I spend my time - the more I'm starting to recognize my patterns of fulfilling a hunger that can't be fed by the external world.  When I come from a place of lack, and feel like I can't have something because I don't have enough money or I can't do something because I don't have enough time, then I find myself wallowing in a place of deprivation

The definition of deprive is to keep from possessing or enjoying.  Why would I intentionally keep myself from enjoying my life?  I know that I can live fully in the experiences of my life despite any amount of money or time I may have.  Living in a place of deprivation is now my past.  I believe that I can choose grace, gratitude and abundance over lack, not having enough and deprivation.

So as I recognize these tendencies, I will continue practicing mindful spending - how I spend my money and how I spend my time.  I will watch my mind that tries to talk me into spending money on things I don't need, just so that it can fulfill its old way of being.  I will refrain from spending more time on the computer now that my TV is shut off.   I will stop limiting my inner self.  And when I feel like I'm slipping to a place of feeding feelings of lack, I'll continue to ask the question, "What is it that I'm truly hungry for?"

Your Personal Reflection:  What are you hungry for?


  1. Hello hello dear you! How are you doing? And how's family and projects???

  2. Boy do I struggle with feelings of deprivation. It's difficult when others around me choose to do things that require spending a lot or more than I am comfortable spending(like extended-family group vacations; it's definitely hard being the poor relations). I am trying to practice mindful spending of time and money. It has definitely changed my mindset. I notice the difference in my life and I like it very much even though it is different and somewhat against the grain. I like the way you set up the mindful question of "What am I hungry for?" Thanks for the inspiration!

  3. Thanks for sharing where you are at, Shannon. I totally feel you.

    Something I am doing for myself right now is making a jar full of small pieces of folded up paper. On the paper are activities I can do that fill my heart with joy that cost me little to no money. Things like painting, gardening, going for a bike ride, and crafting.

    When I feel that there is a lack of joy in my day I am going to draw one of those pieces of paper and do what it says.

    I think when we are stuck in a state of lack, it is hard to wrap our minds around what is truly available to us.

    When we are able to let go of the value we have placed on material things, there is room for the new, fun, joyful things to show up.

    LOVE you,

  4. You know what? I just love you! You're such an inspiration.

  5. Yes! I was having this exact convo with a friend yesterday. That was the word I needed:
    i'm hungry to move forward, let my creativity lose, get closer to making a living from it.
    it's tough having to balance staying focused but not losing sight of the importance of play & getting bogged down in the money-making stuff.

  6. I hear you.

    I have been trying to simplify my surroundings so I can more fully enjoy the things I love. Its not easy as I love so many things LOL

    I'm hungry for a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction in my daily work - a knowing of which tasks to continue and which to leave behind. The ability to find the balance to accomplish it all.


  7. ooooh... you nailed this feeling... sometimes when i have an abrupt change in routine i feel this hunger, yet not able to pinpoint precisely what i'm hungry for - or i THINK i know, but usually it's just the routine i'm tied to and not the actual thing. changes are tough!!


Thanks for sharing!